The first screenplay I ever read was William Goldman’s “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.” We called it Junior High back then and the film was my all time favorite until “The Big Lebowski” came out. I read all of Bill’s books and many more screenplays by others afterwards. But my screen writing style is an homage to his. Screenplays should be fun to read, not just stage directions and dialogue. Here’s what I wrote as the first scene from CHASING KARMA. I may write the rest, just for fun.
FADE IN: Darkness. Michael Giacchino’s foreboding score whispers through the theater’s sub-woofers, building tension. As we listen to JESSICA’s narration the camera slowly pulls back to reveal the dark barrel of a gun. It’s a Smith & Wesson M&P. As the pullback continues the hands that hold it come into focus. They belong to a woman. The camera continues to reveal her. Arms first then torso then the light brown skin, brown eyes, brown eyelashes, and brown hair that cascades down over the shoulders of a collarless button-down shirt. The eyes are focused on something. The expression is dead serious.
JESSICA
(Narration) When normal people face the barrel of a gun, their eyes dart between its infinite darkness and the corneas of the person tickling the trigger.
The camera continues its infinite retreat, framing another woman in the shot next to JESSICA. She’s slightly taller, blonde hair, with a body toned to masculine levels of fitness. ALEXANDRA Clark is also holding a Smith. Both women seem to be pointing it in the same direction.
JESSICA
(Narration) Sweat beads above upper lips. Sounds and smells amplify. Seconds elongate into hours. Whatever bravado may be part of their act vanishes and even the least religious conjure up a prayer, pleading with God to give them the gift of one more day.
Psychotics simply smile.
CUT TO: The smiling man. The shot is wide enough for us to see he has his left arm around a woman’s waist. We’ll learn in a second that is name is Ted DESALVO. He holds a polished chrome hunting knife in his right fist against the woman’s carotid artery. She is dressed in Black, black hair that’s clearly dyed, deep black mascara circles her eyes, thick black eyelashes, black eyebrows, black lipstick. She’s breathing hard. The man’s smile broadens into a grin, and he starts to laugh. A couple of chuckles at first, growing into fits of mirth.
DESALVO
“Guns down, ladies, or you’ll be responsible for two deaths today.”
CUT TO: A two-shot of JESSICA AND ALEXANDRA.
ALEXANDRA
I hate being called “ladies.” Let’s kill him.
JESSICA
Make a good decision for once, Ted. Prison is a target rich playground for someone with your intellect. Death only confirms you’re a loser
CUT TO: DESALVO. He’s still laughing, stuttering his words between outbursts. Shaking his head in irony. He jiggles the knife against the woman’s neck.
DESALVO
“You… You ladies always entertain. I… I hate to leave the performance.
CUT TO: A series of one and two shots as JESSICA and ALEXANDRA argue
ALEXANDRA
He said it again. Let’s kill him. Aim for the head. I’ll ping his brain stem and he’ll drop the knife like it just came out of the deep fryer.
JESSICA
Focus, Alexandra. That’s a living being at the edge of his blade.
ALEXANDRA
Yeah, and she reminds you of your twin sister. I’m sick of this shit. He’s nuts. Her only chance is if we cleave his skull like a watermelon before he kills her.
JESSICA
I don’t have a twin sister and women cops de-escalate, Ali. You’re not helping.
ALEXANDRA
I’m a lesbian, Jess. We don’t de-escalate. On the count of three.
CUT TO: DESALVO and his victim. He’s enjoying this.
DESALVO
She has security cameras. You are being recorded.
BACK TO: JESS and ALI.
ALEXANDRA
Good. I washed my hair today. “One.”
JESSICA
(She rolls her eyes. She’s dealt with this behavior before.) You’re just as psycho as he is, partner.
CUT TO: DESALVO and his victim.
DESALVO
(Slightly uncomfortable in the presence of what he thinks is another nut-job. He nods to his victim.) Her family will sue you, sue the department and the city. Maybe even murder one for the both of you. Know how inmates treat girl cops in prison?
CUT TO: A close-up of JESSICA.
JESSICA
Did you hear that. He called us “girl cops.”
CUT TO: A two-shot of JESS and Ali
ALEXANDRA
(Smiling.) Yeah. “Two.”
CUT TO: A tight close up of the victim. We can see the knife about to break her skin. The hair dye is running down her forehead in rivulets of sweat.
CUT TO: JESSICA.
JESSICA
Sorry about this, ma’am. But it appears that you and I are the only two sane people in this house.
CUT TO: DESALVO.
DESALVO
It’s truly been real, ladies. (He turns his head toward something, barking a command.) Alexa! Turn on Cronus.
CUT TO: JESS and Ali.
ALEXANDRA
Three!
WE SEE the lights in the room go off. Michael’s score whips into JESSICA’s action theme. There’s a flash bang somewhere nearby and a hissing sound as the two cops fire at the darkness. The illumination from their gunfire shows flashes of DESALVO running to his right toward a door. We hear his victim falling to the hardwood floor. The firing continues. Flashes of DESALVO exiting, JESSICA looking toward the sound of the hissing, a shot of a canister on the floor spewing gas, and a close up of the victim grasping her neck as blood flows between her fingers.
JESSICA
(Holsters her weapon. The adrenalin rush has her jacked.) Alexandra. Help me get the lights on.
ALEXANDRA
Am I the only one with technology at my apartment? (She commands..) Alexa. Lights on!
A SERIES OF QUICK CUTS: The lights come on, illuminating the room. The windows are covered with blackout curtains. The canister spews gas. It’s floating in JESS and ALI’s direction. They dart to the victim. She’s injured badly but it’s not fatal… Yet. They each grab an arm and drag her to the door. It’s locked. We hear a car engine start on the other side, followed by four quick gunshots before the sound of tires squealing in the street. ALI curses, aims her Smith at the lock mechanism and empties the rest of her bullets into it. JESS yanks open the door, and they pull the victim into a garage and out into the driveway, just ahead of the gas. ALI tends to the victim as JESS fires 13 shots at the departing car the car, a convertible BMW, as the vehicle speed down the residential street. The Smith’s slide locks in the empty position. The Beemer turns right and out of the shot. The camera follows the turn, panning to the right and focuses on a street sign that says, “Children at Play.”
JESSICA
(Mutters…) No respect for the law.
She turns to Ali who has body substance isolation gloves on and is holding back the flow of blood as the victim lies unconscious on the pavement.
ALEXANDRA
I should have shot the bastard on the count of “Two” (With a free hand she keys her handheld.) Ten-David-Fifteen. Shots fired. 5140 Dennis Street. One victim with a neck laceration. Requesting EMS and back up at this address. (We hear Dispatch acknowledge.) I got this, Jess. Go get him.
CUT TO: JESS grabbing her keys and looks at their Tahoe. The vehicle has four flat tires.
JESSICA
Dammit. That guy can shoot. Four Flat tires. (She pops the empty clip from the Smith, loading another and releasing the slide.) I can’t do that on a “good” day.
ALEXANDRA
(Nods toward the house.) The garage, partner. Plan B.
We see a pristine MTT420R, the fastest street-legal crotch rocket ever made in the garage. A set of keys dangle from the ignition. JESS turns to her partner and grins.
ALEXANDRA
Try not to have too much fun while I’m saving this woman’s life. What’s her name, anyway.
CUT TO: JESS on the bike. We hear its turbine spin up. The helmet JESS straps on says. “Goth Guys Make Better Lovers.”
JESSICA
Reid. Katrina Reid. Gothic hooker, I’d guess.
ALEXANDRA
We’ve all gotta make a living. Go put Ted DeSalvo out of his misery.
CUT TO: JESSICA exploding out of the garage on the bike and onto the street in pursuit as the opening strains of “Born to be Wild” fill the pound out of the Dolby THX sound system and fill the theater.
JESSICA.
(She’s in heaven, yelling to nobody in particular.) The chase is on, Teddy boy! Hell hath fury and her name is Jessica Ramirez
John Kay’s vocals permeate the theater. We’re behind the motorcycle as the drone camera pulls back and upward to reveal the house, ALI, the victim, the neighborhood and the city of PALOMA, ILLINOIS, as JESSICA Ramirez’s motorcycle rockets after the Beemer, CHASING KARMA.
